A kind soul but....

UPDATE: 17 September 2009
I am feeling very upset at the moment and am trying hard not to give up completely! People have been so wonderful here on Fluff that it brings me much joy and escape from my 'real' life. I wnat to keep you updated as things kick into high gear. My oncologist has given me only a matter of weeks to live, and I am having a hard time accepting this as I feel good physically. I thought that I would have to feel weak and be in pain. I have aches and the occasional headache but nothing that would suggest this. The doctor tell me that it will progress rather quickly and my health will deteriorate rapidly, but really how can he be sure. The range of emotions that I have been going through are more tiring than the disease at the moment. How can anyone really be prepared for their own mortality, I think I would have preferred for it to be not known, but in saying that I have the chance to say my goodbyes and do things I want to do. I have had a good life, I have seen the world and experienced life. I have wonderful friends and loving parents, and it is them that i worry about now, well in between my lapses into self pity. I dont know how this will go but I will try to update daily (if I can find time in between petting and gifting!)

UPDATE: 14 September 2009
My doctors have discovered that my cancer has spread to both my brain and bones. I am still going to undertake chemotherapy in the hope of extending my time. The doctors have given me a time frame to look at, but i have seen many people defy the odds and live well beyond this limit. I have had some very dark days, these last few, and I am sure that I will have more to come. However I will try to remain strong and I will remember that tears can help us at times. I would ask that anyone who reads this please keep me in your prayers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thankyou everyone for all your kind word and thoughts (and prayers). I would like to share with you all a bit about me and my cancer battle. I was first diagnosed in 1998 with breast cancer. I had surgery to remove the lump and then underwent radiation therapy. I made a good recovery adn was cancer free up until early this year when my mamogram found a mass, on closer examination the oncologist discovered that the original had indeed returned and mestatisized. I have since had a double mastectomy and lymph node removal. And now I ma undertaking chemotherapy to extend my time. The doctors are not optimistic but I AM! I know I can beat this and if I cant Iknow that my family and friends whom I have already lost will be waiting for me wherever it is I am to go.
During my first treatment 10 years ago I met some wonderful women with extraordinary stories of courage, and they give me strength. Lila, our angel, was still only a child, 19, in 1999 when she lost her battle, but she held herself with such grace and was more interested in making sure everyone around her was okay. Samantha was my other bus buddy (we caught the cancer bus to treatment together) she was a single mother of 3 beautiful daughters all under the age of 5 and she was only 25. SHe managed her treatment and her family with very little support and remained optimistic during the whole ordeal. Samantha has remained cancer free and went on to have another child a son and is now happily married. She is here on facebook and my greatest support! My other friend Aileen passed away recently, she was Lila's mum, and she became somewhat like my mum to during my treatment. She saw us all through our cancer only to be struck down herself last year, she fought to the end adn most importantly she never stopped living, her last holiday she went away to Egypt determined to keep a promise to her daughter. These 3 women are my role models for strngth and courage and they are the reason why I will never give up fighting and being optimistic.
I will beat it!

I hope she will continue to be optimistic and get well soon.... Let's pray for her... God bless ...