Saying 'No'‏

Are you saying "yes" to things you don't really want to do? Are you taking on more than you can reasonably handle? Are you spending less time on yourself and your loved ones because your schedule is too intense?

If you have trouble saying "no", you're not alone. We all find ourselves in situations where we say "yes" to others when we really want to say "no". For example, the friend who insists on buying you another round, the boss who sees you as the willing workhorse, or the mother-in-law who invites herself to stay.

You may think you are being "Mr Nice Guy" by going along with these requests but you know what? When you give in too easily and too often, people simply see you as an easy target to exploit. You've exposed your weakness and they will impose on you time and again.

Reacting angrily to what you might see as an unreasonable request is equally inappropriate. It may result in you being seen as hostile. In the workplace an angry refusal to do a piece of work may brand you as being un-cooperative.

The only viable solution that does not upset others or make you feel bad is the assertive one.

A good definition of assertiveness is when you stand up for your rights while accepting the rights of others. For example, if you're not contractually obliged to do what you're being asked, you have the right to say "no", just as much right as the other person to ask you. If a problem develops, resolve to work together on a solution. Try to reach a mutual compromise, rather than always compromising yourself.

Here's how you can learn to say no assertively.

Make "no" the first word out of your mouth so that others can see there is no hesitation or doubt. Remind yourself that they'll respect you more for being so definite.

Think through your fears about their possible reactions. Be rational about them. Don't let the fear of what they might think of you force you to do something you don't want to do.

Use a clear, assertive style: no ifs and buts, no excuses, no apologising. Thank the person for considering you for the request; say you are flattered and honoured.

And don't feel as though you have to find solutions to their problem; don't dwell on it afterwards or feel responsible for their problem.

Reclaim the time that's rightfully yours.

Words of wisdom

'I've learned that no matter what happens or how bad it seems today,
life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way
he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and
tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making
a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's
mitt on both hands . You need to be able to throw some things back.'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said ; people will
forget what you did ; but people will never forget how you made them
feel.'

Scenery @ Sogo's Food Court taken after HUKM's appt

Dinner @ Jaya33 on 19th Nov 2008

看看你有多小氣?

看看你有多小氣?



捲起袖子拿著掃除工具的你， 該從哪個地方開始才好呢？

A.廚房

B.由門口到客廳

C.浴缸

D.廁所馬桶

答案：A. 廚房
	由選擇開始打掃的地方測驗出你的小氣程喔...
	回答A的你是.... 你的小氣程度....浪費奢侈，小氣程度'0'
	人稱凱子是也。對金錢管理沒什麼概念，也漫不經心。金錢進進出出頻繁，左手進右手出，有多少用多少。對朋友也很慷慨喔，小氣這兩個字跟我是沾不上邊啦。 存錢？哎呀，等下個月再說。就算有時手頭並不寬裕，看到想要的東西，不管啦~~先刷卡買了再說！

答案：B. 由門口開始到客廳
	由選擇開始打掃的地方測驗出你的小氣程度喔....
	回答B的你是.... 你的小氣程度....恰到好處，不浪費也不會太吝嗇，小氣程度'50'
	對金錢管理可是控制得宜，該花的就花、該省的就省。理財工具也算運用得宜，小有積蓄啦。平常對人、對事也是這個態度，不會花錢充面子。 不過該我分攤的金額我也不會推得一乾二淨，跟我出去吃飯、遊樂，放心，不會佔你便宜的。

答案：C. 浴缸
	由選擇開始打掃的地方測驗出你的小氣程度喔....
	回答C的你是.... 你的小氣程度....算起來是'節省'了一點，小氣程度'70'
	說我小氣嘛，其實也還好啦。生活上絕對必要的東西我還是會買、必要的交際遊樂我也花得起。不過沒必要的東西，想賺我的錢那就門都沒有！ 買東西合用就好，不用講求高級品。平常吃飯自助餐就好。如果是假日上館子，便宜的餐廳就可以啦。跟我出去或約會，先告訴我今天是什麼日子。

答案：D. 廁所馬桶
	由選擇開始打掃的地方測驗出你的小氣程度喔....
	回答D的你是.... 你的小氣程度....十足的小氣鬼，小氣程度'99'
	金錢是第二生命，即使十分有錢，小氣習性不改。 賺錢不容易耶，當然要節省一點。平常錢包裡決不放太多現金，要付錢時才好說...啊，對不起我帶的錢不夠。 即使是必要的東西，能將就用舊的代替一下何必買新的，舊的又沒壞！就是這樣東省西省所以才能小有積蓄啊。要找我出去？可以啊，先說好你請客喔。